The challenge of Giving Thanks.

After stuffing my face at Thanksgiving dinner I was still contemplating on the challenge of the week. I was going to do an extra special challenge but due to lack of money- the plan fell through. I have to give an extra special thanks to my sister in law Amie for coming up with this wonderful, heartfelt challenge that is perfect for the holiday.
This giving thanks challenge will require me to find three special people from my life including an old teacher, a former boss, and a former or not so close friend- or a friend I have lost contact with. Each one of these people I must write a letter to- informing them of the impact that they had made on my life, and how them being a part of my life has changed me in some way or another. I must have these sent by Monday of next week.
I think this challenge is a fantastic idea, and I know that this will at least bring a smile to three faces and that is glorious.
Thanks for the challenge Amie.

Harry Potter and the Mostly Failed Challenge

SO last week I all of these things planned. One of them was to make a traditional English meal at least once. I chose Sheppard's Pie after hearing about it most of my life, and luckily I found a recipe that had beef instead of lamb. It was delicious!! I was very impressed with the meal and wondered why I had been so scared to try it before. The next and completely embarrassing challenge was the TALK BRITISH for a day challenge which I did on Friday. Let me tell you by Friday morning I was dreading this task and it was WAY harder than I predicted. Plus it was super embarrassing. I had to make a trip to the bank, sign my new lease, go out for diner etc all in the accent. At least my dad found humor in it, but even he admitted that it was getting quite annoying, and it was. By noon Friday I wanted SO badly to just end the challenge there. I kept it up, but by 9:00 pm when we were out and eating I found myself going in and out of accent (so one time when the waitress would ask us something I had an accent, the next time I didn't). I was literally forgetting I was suppose to be doing it and by 10:00 the challenge was over- two hours before I said I would end it. I guess as much as I tried with this one- I failed even though I managed to completely embarrass myself the whole day. Saturday was 1920s party day so I taught myself very briefly the Charleston. Sunday however the Tea Party completely fell through, and by Monday night I still hadn't tried to learn a magic trick.
Therefore I suppose for this challenge it was like a mostly fail- kind of like Voldemort won this one.

Major thing I learned during this challenge is - I like doing accents but only for a VERY limited time.

Harry Potter and the 6th Week Challenge

'Ello and welcome to challenge number 6! I am so happy you blokes have stumbled upon my blog!
Have you guessed the challenge yet? Bloody hell!! I bet you haven't! Well there are a few big events this week that I must admit I am excited about! The first being the brand new Harry Potter movie! Now, I am not a "super fan" of Harry Potter, but I do enjoy the movies and I would LOVE to camp out at midnight for the first showing. (Not let's face it- that is not happening this week, I am just saying I WOULD do it). To celebrate the event however, I am declaring this Harry Potter week. Here are the challenges:
I must at least once during the week cook and eat a traditional British meal. (Gosh I do love these food challenges don't I?)
Keeping in Harry Potter and the magic mode I must learn and demonstrate for you all a magic trick. (Yes this means another video!!)
Friday November 19th is the opening of Harry Potter so from 12:00 am the 19th- 12:00 am the 20th I MUST speak in a British accent this includes venturing out into the world and doing regular daily tasks WITH the accent. (OK disclaimer- the only way I cannot use the accent is if I receive a phone call from an place about employment). (There MAY be video of this too).
Sunday I must finish the week off with a TEA PARTY!! YESSSSS!!

Now if you remember I mentioned earlier that there are TWO things I am excited about. This week is my 1920's birthday party (on Saturday). (I am a huge 1920s fan obviously).
Challenge Bonus!! Saturday is 1920's day! That means learning the Charleston, and incorporating 20's speak into everything I do that day. I really like getting into character!!

Well I have some work cut out for me this week! But I am excited!! Stay tuned for more embarrassment...

The Ten Commandents of Faith

Alright. So the religion challenge is over. Overall I learned that no matter what religion or belief you choose to partake in- the majority of them have the same basic ideas.
Love they neighbor
Respect thy self and each other
Don't tell lies or speak ill of each other
To find peace you must search yourself
Give thanks for your blessings
Help others who need it
All is full of love
Do not cheat or steal
Be respectful
Believe and have faith

So really, no matter what it is you choose to believe in essentially the ideas are the same. Love each other, be gracious, find peace within yourself, and take the time to search your self and your soul. This week I learned that I still am terrible at meditation, that self control is harder when you are trying not to swear. That some things are easier said then done (especially when you have been a certain way all your life), and that donating a whole HUGE garbage bag of clothes to the Salvation Army not only feels good- it also clears the clutter from your closet and your life. I know religion is such a sensitive subject, and that really bothers me. I mean, really? The subject that starts so many wars comes down to the same basic ideas. Who cares who is right? At least that is what I think. Can't we just embrace the fact that we are all right in some way..Love each other, help each other, and most importantly just believe that things are bigger than us and that we may not always have the answers but we can find peace within ourselves- if and when we try.

Native American Code of Ethics

1. Each morning upon rising, and each evening before sleeping, give thanks for the life within you and for all life, for the good things the Creator has given you and for the opportunity to grow a little more each day. Consider your thoughts and actions of the past day and seek for the courage and strengthto be a better person. Seek for the things that will benefit others (everyone).
   
   
2. Respect. Respect means "To feel or show honor or esteem for someone or something; to consider the well being of, or to treat someone or somethin with deference or courtesy". Showing respect is a basic law of life.
   
   a. Treat every person from the tiniest child to the oldest elder with respect at all times.
   
   b. Special respect should be given to Elders, Parents, Teachers, and Community Leaders.
   
   c. No person should be made to feel "put down" by you; avoid hurting other hearts as you would avoid a deadly poison.
   
   d. Touch nothing that belongs to someone else (especially Sacred Objects) without permission, or an understanding between you.
   
   e. Respect the privacy of every person, never intrude on a person's quiet moment or personal space.
   
   f. Never walk between people that are conversing.
   
   g. Never interrupt people who are conversing.
   
   h. Speak in a soft voice, especially when you are in the presence of Elders, strangers or others to whom special respect is due.
   
   i. Do not speak unless invited to do so at gatherings where Elders are present (except to ask what is expected of you, should you be in doubt).
   
   j. Never speak about others in a negative way, whether they are present or not.
   
   k. Treat the earth and all of her aspects as your mother. Show deep respect for the mineral world, the plant world, and the animal world. Do nothing to pollute our Mother, rise up with wisdom to defend her.
   
   l. Show deep respect for the beliefs and religion of others.
   
   m. Listen with courtesy to what others say, even if you feel that what they are saying is worthless. Listen with your heart.
   
   n. Respect the wisdom of the people in council. Once you give an idea to a council meeting it no longer belongs to you. It belongs to the people. Respect demands that you listen intently to the ideas of others in council and that you do not insist that your idea prevail. Indeed you should freely support the ideas of others if they are true and good, even if those ideas ideas are quite different from the ones you have contributed. The clash of ideas brings forth the Spark of Truth.
   


3. Once a council has decided something in unity, respect demands that no one speak secretly against what has been decided. If the council has made an error, that error will become apparent to everyone in its own time.
   


4. Be truthful at all times, and under all conditions.
   


5. Always treat your guests with honor and consideration. Give of your best food, your best blankets, the best part of your house, and your best service to your guests.
   


6. The hurt of one is the hurt of all, the honor of one is the honor of all.
   


7. Receive strangers and outsiders with a loving heart and as members of the human family.
   


8. All the races and tribes in the world are like the different colored flowers of one meadow. All are beautiful. As children of the Creator they must all be respected.
   


9. To serve others, to be of some use to family, community, nation, and the world is one of the main purposes for which human beings have been created. Do not fill yourself with your own affairs and forget your most important talks. True happiness comes only to those who dedicate their lives to the service of others.
   


10. Observe moderation and balance in all things.
    


11. Know those things that lead to your well-being, and those things that lead to your destruction.
    


12. Listen to and follow the guidance given to your heart. Expect guidance to come in many forms; in prayer, in dreams, in times of quiet solitude, and in the words and deeds of wise Elders and friends

This is the Native American Code of Ethics as borrowed from http://www.sapphyr.net/natam/nacodeethics.htm

A FAST lesson from fasting.

I have to admit it takes a STRONG willed person to fast. Every day for a month? That is incredible. Although I made it from sun up to sun down without food or water (or other beverages) I thought about food all day long. I became super thirsty, and the more I tried not to think of these things, the more I thought about them. By 4:00 pm I wasn't AS hungry, but I started getting a little giddy. Who knows if it was the fasting or not. By the time 5:00 pm hit and it was officially sun down I made sure I ate like a queen, but sticking to rule, I did not binge.
Wow. It was a hard challenge and I admit I hated every minute of this one. I understood the reasons however and I definitely gained a ton more respect for those who practice this on a regular basis.

I hope this fasting goes FAST!

Today I am studying the Islamic religion. There is a ton of information for each of these religions and I am noticing that as I read about Islam a lot of their ideas are the same as the Christian faith. Here is some of what they believe:

Six Articles of Faith

The six articles of faith are the main doctrines of Islam. All Muslims share beliefs in the following:

    1. God
    Islam preaches that there is only one Supreme, Eternal, Infinite and Unparallel entity, Allah (God). He alone is the creator of all the universe. Quran declares "That is God, your Lord. There is no god but Him, the Creator of everything. So worship Him. He is responsible for everything." (6:102)
    2. Angels
     Muslims believe in angels. They are comprised of light, and each have different purposes. Angel Gabriel brought the divine message to Mohammad. Two angels (Kiraaman and Katibeen) are assigned to record the actions of the human beings; one records good deeds, the other bad deeds. The angel of death (Azrael) takes the soul out of the body. Angels Munkir and Nakir questions each person in grave.
    3. Scriptures
    It refers to believing in all the four books; the Torah (Moses), the Psalms (David), the Gospel (Jesus) and the Quran (Mohammad). Muslims also believe that all other books are alteration with time by its followers. Muslims believe that Quran is the only book which can never be distorted as God has himself taken the responsibility of its protection, "We have, without doubt, sent down the Message; and We will assuredly guard it (from corruption)." (15:9)
    4. Prophets
     It is obligatory on every Muslim to believe in all the messengers from Adam to Mohammad without any discrimination. Quran treats all the prophets equally, "Say (O Muslims), we believe in Allah and that which is revealed unto us and that which was revealed unto Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the tribes, and that which Moses and Jesus received, and that which the Prophets received from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and unto Him we have surrendered." (2:136)
    5. Resurrection
     Muslims have faith that after the end of the world, every human will be resurrected from the grave. They will be held accountable for whatever they have done in their lives. The day is known as the Day of Judgment. On this day, justice will be done to every individual soul. The innocent ones will stay in Heaven, whereas, the corrupted ones will go to hell. Quran testifies it by saying, " This day We seal up mouths, and hands speak out and feet bear witness as to what they used to earn." (36:65)
    6. Divine Creed
    It is one of the main aspect of Islam. Believing in divine creed refers to predestination. Muslims believe that unlike living beings, God is not limited to anything; even with time. Everything that has happened, is happening, or will happen is evident to Him. Living beings are being given a free choice to do whatever they want to do, but God knows what choice they will make. It must also be clear that God's knowing does not restrict anyone from making a free choice. Quran proclaims, " Knowest thou not that Allah knows all that is in heaven and on earth? Indeed it is all in a Record, and that is easy for Allah."

The Five Pillars of Faith

The five pillars of faith are duties each Muslim performs to demonstrate his or her faith.

     1. Testimony of Faith (Kalima)
One must state, "There is no god, but Allah, and Muhammad is the Prophet of Allah." It consists of three parts
a)    To reject all the false gods.
b)    To accept Allah as the only sole creator of everything.
c)     To Mohammad as the last messenger of Allah.

(all this information comes from http://www.mnsu.edu/emuseum/cultural/religion/islam/beliefs.html)

Allah to the Islamic faith is the same as God in the Christian faith, therefore like I said some of the ideas are the same.
However, the Islamic faith is a bit stricter than others in the way that they must pray five times a day (no matter what they are currently doing), they must abstain from drinking, they must give at least 2.5% of their yearly savings to charity, they must fast during Ramadan, and they must make a pilgrimage to Kaaba in Makkah when they are physically and financially ready.

For my challenge today I decided to go with fasting. Something I knew would be a complete challenge for me. Let's just say I get completely cranky when I don't eat. It is noon and I am already starving. To fast in the Islamic religion means no food, no drink, no smoking, and no having intercourse. They must abide by this from sun up to sun down for an entire month. For Islamics they must excrete complete physical discipline, and they do that with many of the other things in their lives as well. I cannot lie, I am only a few hours in and I am wanting to eat everything in sight. I cannot believe they do this for a whole month, but I must admit you have to be strong willed to follow through on something like this.

Hinduism and the Seeking of Self.

Well I have found it hard to even blog this week. This doesn't mean however I am not immersing myself in knowledge about some of the major spiritual beliefs around the world. Yesterday- I am a day off still- it was Hinduism, a religion that dates back at least 5,000 years. Major ideas in this religion focus on karma, which in turn also will lead to what caste system you will be in when you are reincarnated. The better you are in the this life- the better you may have it in the next. Hinduism and Buddhism share the same beliefs about charity and service to all. Both seem to believe in being truthful and not taking part in slander, lying, or falsehoods. Also in Hinduism it is required to not speak ill- which I am guessing includes swearing- a hard task for me is to try to keep my speech pure. It is important in this religion as well not to rely on material objects, and to abstain from sexual thoughts- or thoughts that may be impure.
(Find out more at www.hinduism.co.za/ethics.htm)
Many Hindus practice yoga, which I loved to find out. (I am a fan of yoga and even though it is difficult it makes you feel amazing!) But I can see how it would help one get in touch with themselves and their minds and bodies. What an amazing idea.
So I abstained from eating meat, attempted to abstain from swearing, and failed, yet again at meditation. (By the time I get both kids to bed I am exhausted..but I now owe myself 30 minutes of finding my "self.")
The hardest part of this challenge has been putting the ideas I am learning into play. I can see someone who is taught these ideas at an early age finding more acceptance in them, rather than someone just learning these things for the first time. I can see how these must take practice, and a ton of concentration. Hinduism is all about being true and not worrying about most things that we all do on a daily basis. That's a hard thing to do.
I am noticing some of the same basic ideas that Christians teach, but I am also understanding why Buddhism and Hinduism are not violent religions- they abstain from thinking about who is right and just focus on being.

Buddhism and Loving Kindness.

I have been practicing my meditation and mantras. I must admit it has been a rough day for me and although I am trying to tell myself to not worry about money (being rich won't solve everything) it is harder said than done. Obviously there are things when becoming Buddhist that several people have to work on. This has to be one of them.
To follow the rules of the challenge I searched for a mediation and was happy to have found this one. I must be honest, after doing this I feel a bit better. Just sending love, even to those who call me constantly for money- I notice I am a bit lighter. Huh. Some of this is making sense. Here it is. Try it out for yourself.

This is from Buddha.net

Loving-kindness meditation can be brought in to support the practice of insight meditation to help keep the mind open and sweet. It provides the essential balance to support Insight meditation practice.
It is a fact of life that many people are troubled by difficult emotional states in the pressured societies we live in, but do little in terms of developing skills to deal with them. Yet even when the mind goes sour it is within most people's capacity to arouse positive feelings to sweeten it. Loving-kindness is a meditation practice taught by the Buddha to develop the mental habit of selfless or altruistic love. In the Dhammapada can be found the saying: "Hatred cannot coexist with loving-kindness, and dissipates if supplanted with thoughts based on loving-kindness."
Loving-kindness is a meditation practice, which brings about positive attitudinal changes as it systematically develops the quality of 'loving-acceptance'. It acts, as it were, as a form of self-psychotherapy, a way of healing the troubled mind to free it from its pain and confusion. Of all Buddhist meditations, loving-kindness has the immediate benefit of sweetening and changing old habituated negative patterns of mind.
To put it into its context, Loving-kindness is the first of a series of meditations that produce four qualities of love: Friendliness (metta), Compassion (karuna), Appreciative Joy (mudita) and Equanimity (upekkha). The quality of 'friendliness' is expressed as warmth that reaches out and embraces others. When loving-kindness practice matures it naturally overflows into compassion, as one empathises with other people's difficulties; on the other hand one needs to be wary of pity, as its near enemy, as it merely mimics the quality of concern without empathy. The positive expression of empathy is an appreciation of other people's good qualities or good fortune, or appreciative joy, rather than feelings of jealousy towards them. This series of meditations comes to maturity as 'on-looking equanimity'. This 'engaged equanimity' must be cultivated within the context of this series of meditations, or there is a risk of it manifesting as its near enemy, indifference or aloofness. So, ultimately you remain kindly disposed and caring toward everybody with an equal spread of loving feelings and acceptance in all situations and relationships.
How to do it . . .
The practice always begins with developing a loving acceptance of yourself. If resistance is experienced then it indicates that feelings of unworthiness are present. No matter, this means there is work to be done, as the practice itself is designed to overcome any feelings of self-doubt or negativity. Then you are ready to systematically develop loving-kindness towards others.
Four types of persons to develop loving-kindness towards:

• a respected, beloved person — such as a spiritual teacher;
• a dearly beloved — a close family member or friend;
• a neutral person — somebody you know, but have no special feelings towards,
  e.g. person who serves you in a shop;
• a hostile person — someone you are currently having difficulty with.

Starting with yourself, then systematically sending loving-kindness from person to person in the above order will have the effect of breaking down the barriers between the four types of people and yourself. This will have the effect of breaking down the divisions within your own mind, the source of much of the conflict we experience. Just a word of caution if you are practicing intensively. It is best if you choose a member of the same sex or, if you have a sexual bias to your own sex, a person of the opposite sex. This is because of the risk that the near enemy of loving-kindness, lust, can be aroused. Try different people to practice on, as some people do not easily fit into the above categories, but do try to keep to the prescribed order.
Ways of arousing feelings of loving-kindness:

1. Visualisation — Bring up a mental picture. See yourself or the person the feeling is directed at smiling back at you or just being joyous.
2. By reflection — Reflect on the positive qualities of a person and the acts of kindness they have done. And to yourself, making an affirmation, a positive statement about yourself, using your own words.
3. Auditory — This is the simplest way but probably the most effective. Repeat an internalized mantra or phrase such as 'loving-kindness'.

The visualisations, reflections and the repetition of loving-kindness are devices to help you arouse positive feelings of loving-kindness. You can use all of them or one that works best for you. When the positive feeling arise, switch from the devices to the feeling, as it is the feeling that is the primary focus. Keep the mind fixed on the feeling, if it strays bring it back to the device, or if the feelings weaken or are lost then return to the device, i.e. use the visualisation to bring back or strengthen the feeling.
The second stage is Directional Pervasion where you systematically project the aroused feeling of loving-kindness to all points of the compass: north, south, east and west, up and down, and all around. This directional pervasion will be enhanced by bringing to mind loving friends and like-minded communities you know in the cities, towns and countries around the world.
Non-specific Pervasion tends to spontaneously happen as the practice matures. It is not discriminating. It has no specific object and involves just naturally radiating feelings of universal love. When it arises the practice has then come to maturity in that it has changed particular, preferential love, which is an attached love, to an all-embracing unconditional love!
Loving-kindness is a heart meditation and should not to be seen as just a formal sitting practice removed from everyday life. So take your good vibes outside into the streets, at home, at work and into your relationships. Applying the practice to daily life is a matter of directing a friendly attitude and having openness toward everybody you relate to, without discrimination.
There are as many different ways of doing it as there are levels of intensity in the practice. This introduction is intended to help you familiarize yourself with the basic technique, so that you can become established in the practice before going on, if you wish, to the deeper, systematic practice — to the level of meditative absorption.

Just Say "No" To Money.

SO one of the Buddhist beliefs is that material possessions won't make you happy, and neither will money or riches. I am realizing that taking this laid back attitude is harder than it sounds. As I was thinking "yeah I can stop fretting about money for two days." By the time evening came I realize just how MUCH I was thinking about money, making ends meet, and all my other problems. Maybe I am more aware at just how many times the thoughts of lack of money and how to make money are constantly running through my head now. It is INSANE. I am doing a terrible job of just letting go of my panic motivators, but now I am noticing just how consuming these thoughts actually are. It is making more sense how people who aren't worried about money- not the rich I mean those who have no need for money or care for it- can be happier. This of course doesn't mean after this challenge I am going to give it up- I would never make it in today's society. I guess I am just realizing the extent and control that money holds over our lives, especially those with lack of it.

Open mind, open heart. The art of being open..

Alright so it's Tuesday. This means that I am a day behind. Little do you know that I am actually studying for the next challenge. Yes. Studying!
As I was contemplating what I should do for the challenge this week (so many ideas!) I began to think of the TV show 30 days on Planet Green. The show was created by Morgan Spurlock, the same man who did the incredible film Super Size Me. Anyways Morgan takes people who are completely different from each other (say the super Christian and the Muslim) and puts one in the others environment for 30 days where they have to live, pray, eat, etc. like the family they are placed with. The show is pure genius. One of the most thought provoking in fact was the super Christian and the Muslim family, where the Christian learned a great deal about something some people are very stereotypical about- other religions.
That got me thinking. I was raised in a Christan family, we aren't really regular church goers, but we never really looked into any other beliefs other than our own. In college, I learned a bit more about other peoples' views and started making my mind up a bit more about what I follow, or what I don't. (College is an excellent place for ideas and opinions to be shaped and formed- part of the reason I loved school and not just in the sense of religion either). So last night I began looking into a religion/and or belief system that I find rather interesting- which is Buddhism. I promptly told my mother my idea for the new challenge and she blatantly said "why?"
Exactly. With her comment it became more clear that this was a challenge that should be done. Because why not? As people and religion go most except what they are taught, most don't question it.  More interestingly however, most don't even try to find out what others around them believe. Maybe that is the reason we all don't get along..we hardly even try.
So therefore for this challenge- I must study, learn about, and at least practice some of the ideas taught by major religions of the world. (Thanks Byron for the added challenge). (I also must note that in no means whatsoever will I no be forsaking what I know as God, but I am saying that I feel using the key ideas that these religions believe I can convey their message without angering people who may feel like I am abandoning my own faith). I feel this challenge is an important one and it is important to gain an understanding and a knowledge of others in the world and their beliefs. Call it understanding religion week or something. Or in the eyes of the Buddhism religion to not judge others.
For the next six days I will study and partake in Buddhism, Hinduism, Native American beliefs, and Islamic beliefs.  Each day I will take on these beliefs and/or moral codes and abide by them. For the idea of Buddhism, as well as Hinduism I must meditate to get in touch with my spiritual self. Since this was a mega fail last week I MUST partake this week. For Buddhism I must do right by someone else- whether it be a stranger or if I must volunteer or even give blood. I must forget for two days the idea of money and not be consumed by negative thoughts. For Hinduism I must give up beef (easily done) and practice at least one of their rituals. For Native Americans I will follow the same basic ideas as above, and for Islamic I will fast for one day (Sunday) from sun up to sun down.
Whew! I have my work cut out.
For your reading pleasure here is the general idea/ and or moral code that Buddhists follow since that is the religion I am starting with.

These are known in Buddhism as the Four Noble Truths.

4. THE TRUE PATH, OR EIGHT-FOLD NOBLE PATH

If we can control our body and mind in a way that we help others instead of doing them harm, and generating wisdom in our own mind, we can end our suffering and problems.

The Buddha summarised the correct attitude and actions in the Eight-fold Noble Path:

(The first 3 are avoiding the 10 non-virtues of mind, speech and body:)

1. Correct thought: avoiding covetousness, the wish to harm others and wrong views (like thinking: actions have no consequences, I never have any problems, there are no ways to end suffering etc.)
2. Correct speech: avoid lying, divisive and harsh speech and idle gossip.
3. Correct actions: avoid killing, stealing and sexual misconduct
4. Correct livelihood: try to make a living with the above attitude of thought, speech and actions.
5. Correct understanding: developing genuine wisdom.
   (The last three aspects refer mainly to the practice of meditation:)
6. Correct effort: after the first real step we need joyful perseverance to continue.
7. Correct mindfulness: try to be aware of the "here and now", instead of dreaming in the "there and then".
8. Correct concentration: to keep a steady, calm and attentive state of mind.

The Buddha explained that we can use the Four Yardsticks to assess if we are practicing the correct way:
one should feel happiness, compassion, love and joyous effort when practicing.
(as found on http://viewonbuddhism.org/4_noble_truths.html)

So it begins....follow my journey.

Pardon me though I must leave you,  I have to meditate.

A challenge makes the heart grow fonder..

Hello everyone! I suppose I have been busy writing love letters and planning out lovely gestures..I haven't even been able to blog. I need to catch you up. Last weeks challenge was loving my significant other, being positive, and showing him- no matter what- how much I cared. The hardest part of the challenge was maintaining a positive attitude. Every time I started getting down I had to remind myself to keep positive. The second hardest was trying not to criticize- something I wasn't even aware I was doing in the first place. By Thursday I was failing this task- but as a good friend of mine said- at least now I was more aware of myself and my actions. What you say and do affect both you and the people around you in ways you may not even realize, and therefore I had learned that I must approach my husband in a different way then I would say a female friend. Reading Mars and Venus has definitely helped me so far in my learning, and although I wish I was further in the book I can say just the first few chapters in are making me think more, and even want to do more. Everyone should read this book, it will change the way you feel about your relationships and you will realize that you are not alone in your feelings either. That said http://www.lovingyou.com/ is an excellent source of information, tips, and suggestions on how to make your loved one feel special. Ironically I didn't really use that site as much as I thought I would. As with the best kisser certificate it went well, the love letter that my husband received at work I feel went a bit better but my husband took at least a day to read it. (However he did quote it so I know he read it). And (yeah I just started that sentence with and) I almost forgot about the morning I woke up and made him breakfast before driving him to work (this required waking at 8:30 am). As for the embarrassing stunt I did not get video of it but it was superb! Saturday I have to admit was the best of the whole week when I sent the kids off to the sitter for the entire evening. We went to a completely new bar and sang karaoke. Now if you know me karaoke is one of the things I completely enjoy and do as often as I can. But, this is where the stunt comes in.. Picking a song I had never sang before (also not a big feat here) I chose Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls. I sat my husband down on the chair in the middle of the floor and danced- Pussycat Doll style- as I sang. Completely unlike me to dance all sultry in front of an entire bar. The look on my husbands' face was absolutely priceless.
By Sunday morning I was very pleased with the events of the week. I think the very best reaction came on Sunday evening when my good friend Becca special delivered flowers to my main squeeze as he was hard at work.
"Did you have flowers delivered to me?" He asked completely confused.
"Yes, I did" I said with a HUGE smile
"Wow," he said " I didn't see that coming."
He told me he placed them in a cup and put them on the bar for everyone to see.
"Why did you get flowers?" His co-workers all asked him.
I was hoping to help destroy the idea that only women get flowers- and with my gesture I not only made him feel surprised but I made him smile.
"  I just wanted you to feel special" I said.
"Well I do." He replied.
Mission accomplished.

This challenge made me learn that by doing nice things for the people you love you not only feel better about yourself but you make them happy as well. It was amazing how much more we appreciated each other after the weeks events and I am sure this is something I want to make a habit of. Maybe we all should.

The difference is...

OK. So yesterday I guess I lied. I never got to write that love letter before 2pm. Instead I went old school. I wrote a love letter including the top 25 reasons for my affections, and then sent it, letter style. Like before there were e-mails people wrote LETTERS. Yeah, and even better? I mailed it to him at his work. So tomorrow, as my husband is in the middle of working a double shift- he will get a big surprise. Ah, but I have more up my sleeve. Tomorrow also calls for unexpected breakfast, and Friday calls for a special delivery.

Keeping positive is the hardest part of this challenge and I felt myself falling back into negative routines this morning. But, suddenly I came out of my funk. I started making plans on how to fix my situations, I started thinking no "everything is going to be fine, etc." This is a process that normally takes more time for me to get to. I have to continue to remind myself to be positive and to do super sweet things (it's not that I am not sweet I just get frustrated too fast and then neglect my husband of anything nice).

Which I have to say by the way is amazing. I really don't know how my husband is taking the sweet gestures- since like I said- he is a male and they rarely speak "feeling." But today I saw him for a few quick minutes and he seemed more excited to see me then he had in the past. Also I cannot even believe how much better I feel. At first this started out as a challenge- gosh that sounds bad when I think about it, even when I write it. ("Hey this girls challenge is to be nice to her husband for a whole week!") But really it is ending up as something I am enjoying and it is making ME feel better in the process! I guess despite all the problems relationships have it is ALWAYS important to let your significant other know how much you love and appreciate them by showing them sometimes. Another important thing here is to not focus on the negative. As I am learning in Men are from Mars......is that as much as it seems he is avoiding you or not listening there are reasons. Men are really problem solvers and need to work silently in their "cave" to try to find solutions to their problems. Wow does this make sense. By taking the time and giving him the benefit of the doubt I am not jumping down his throat every five minutes, I understand he isn't avoiding me, he is working, he is thinking, he concerned in his own ways about his own things and just deals with them differently.
Women need to talk about their issues, which separates us from the men. I am starting to wonder if more women are bloggers, and/or if more women are blogging about feelings vs. stats and sports.

I am feeling better already. It's Wednesday and I feel like this week there is some accomplishment, at least on a personal level. I am hoping it can only get better from here.

Do not critize. Do not critize.

So yesterday I started the new challenge. Main part of this challenge is to not criticize my husband. Easier said then done. After catching myself "correcting" and such various times I was starting to realize that I am a bit of a control freak. Really? I didn't realize it until now!! Also trying to maintain a positive attitude is harder than it seems too, I am an emotional person. Next was meditation, I did it, for ten minutes, but it was hard to turn my ever running mind off.
As for doing sweets for my sweet- I found some excellent advice and tips on www.lovingyou.com. They even have printables for you to print off! So I printed off a nice loving word search, and a certificate that said "world's best kisser" or something like that. It put a smile on a moody husbands face and I think brightened his day a little. I hope. One thing about Men- they are from Mars, therefore they don't share they emotions like women do. (At least the majority don't). Today I am going to give him a love letter that he can read before work, maybe to help get him in a good mood before working his butt off. Maybe saying something about appreciating all the hard work he does will remind him how much I care.

What are some things you do to show your special person you love them?

New Week, New Challenge! Relating with Mars..

So last week went alright...but overall I am feeling as though it was a bust. Sorry all. What I learned is sometimes I need to be more prepared.

This week the challenge is for anyone and everyone who has been in, is in, or plans to be in a relationship. After a suggestion from a great friend of mine I picked up the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. What a read! I cannot even believe how much this book makes sense! It explains the reason men and women think and act differently- and I feel as though my eyes have been opened. I don't want to talk so much about my personal life here in the blog but I feel it is essential to mention that my husband and I have been experiencing some issues, as every couple do at one point in time. This convinced me that with this weeks challenge I may be able to bring some light, information, and tips to help other couples. At least we can learn together.
First part of the challenge is coming from John Gray, the author of Mars and Venus. My job this week is to not focus on the negative. I must, according to Gray, "practice restraining from giving any unsolicited advice or criticism." Whew. That will be a hard one. Next I will visit various websites and find "suggested" ways to show my significant other I care. This will more difficult because of our odd situation, however, I will test out the methods suggested and at the end of the week report back to you, the readers, and let you know what worked and what didn't quite make the cut.
During the challenge I therefore must remain positive during the week, this is quite hard for an over thinker like myself, and I must surrender at least 10 minutes a day for meditation to help maintain a positive attitude.

Challenge Bonus: At least ONE TIME during the week I have to do something completely spontaneous and embarrassing for my husband. Oh dear! Can't take it back once I said it!!

Stay tuned for tips and tricks on how to keep the love alive in your relationship and also tips from John Gray's book!